For Guys

Better Putt Performance

If you can’t put the ball into the hole once you get it onto the green you’re never going to be successful at golf. Since 90% of golf is mental (the other 90% is having the right clubs, and the last 90% is the idiots you’re playing with messing up your performance), why not rely on these, the finest golf putting performance placebos on the market to improve your putting accuracy and distance?

Taken as directed, each bottle should last at least twelve full rounds of 18 holes, or more if you take them less often and less if you compulsively eat the whole bottle on the fourth hole.

For Guys For Women

Motivation Pills

A famous man once said “Getting started is 90% of the work.” We don’t know who, because we just heard it and can’t be bothered to look it up. But, it’s probably true, and so we’ve developed these motivational placebos which could help you or someone you’re concerned about get past the initial hump of any project.

Taken as directed, daily, we think it’s just possible that these could turn a Beetle Bailey into some other, successful cartoon character.

For Guys For Kids For Women

Math is not Hard

Ever since Barbie famously uttered the phrase “Math is hard”, well, it’s been all downhill for addition and multiplication, to say nothing of the ratios or derivation. Today, even respected politicians ( ha! ) and intellectuals seem to be down on math, and that’s too bad.

To rectify this situation, we are happy to provide these “Math is not Hard” pills. Through the miracle of the placebo effect, and possibly some math tutoring from someone versed in the art of symbolic manipulation, math no longer needs to seem as difficult.