For Guys For Women

Motivation Pills

A famous man once said “Getting started is 90% of the work.” We don’t know who, because we just heard it and can’t be bothered to look it up. But, it’s probably true, and so we’ve developed these motivational placebos which could help you or someone you’re concerned about get past the initial hump of any project.

Taken as directed, daily, we think it’s just possible that these could turn a Beetle Bailey into some other, successful cartoon character.

For Guys For Kids For Women

Math is not Hard

Ever since Barbie famously uttered the phrase “Math is hard”, well, it’s been all downhill for addition and multiplication, to say nothing of the ratios or derivation. Today, even respected politicians ( ha! ) and intellectuals seem to be down on math, and that’s too bad.

To rectify this situation, we are happy to provide these “Math is not Hard” pills. Through the miracle of the placebo effect, and possibly some math tutoring from someone versed in the art of symbolic manipulation, math no longer needs to seem as difficult.

For Guys For Women Fun

Language Learner

In the old days, it was sufficient to know how to write code in machine code or in FORTRAN, or, heaven-forbid, COBOL in order to make a good living working at a desk in an air conditioned building.  Then, along came C, and C++, and Pascal, and BASIC.  Sure, some folks used LISP and SmallTalk, but they were pointy headed academics or underpaid grad students.

Now, you need to know all of those, and Perl and PHP and Ruby and Erlang and Scala, and who knows what else wil get invented this week.  You practically need a second page for your resume just to list them all, and you’ve made O’Reilly rich buying those stupid animal books for whatever new language some drunken grad student dreamed up.

Our pills can help.  When folks ask “Do you know ___”, and name some language you’ve never heard of, just say “I take ‘Language Learner’ pills; I’m can pick thet up in an afternoon.”  It’s not true, but the folks hiring you don’t really care, since you’ll be actually writing all your code in C or Visual BASIC anyway.