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Placebos for Kids

Clowns! Clowns!

Some people in this world like to dress up in floppy shoes and poorly fitting clothes, wearing flowers which squirt you when you try to smell them, and covering their faces with paint and garish smiles. These people are clowns. Some people don’t like them, and it’s for this second group which we developed this product. Actual sufferers of coulrophobia, an irrational or exaggerated fear of clowns, likely won’t get a lot of benefit out of these placebos. However, if you’ve got a regular old somewhat rational fear of clowns — like, say, Bozo the Clown tried to run you over when you were 9, or at least you seem to remember something like that happening, although it may have been a dream because you got away from Bozo by flying and eventually ended up in math class naked — then these “Clowns! Clowns!” placebos may be perfect for you, since they’ll help you convince your reticent subconscious that you’re doing something about all the evil clowns in the world.

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Get Things Done!

Dave Allen has produced a fabulous set of books about techniques, tips, and ways to change your life and habits in order to more quickly Get-Things-Done. They’ve worked for a lot of people, but they do require effort, and because of that his techniques and ideas aren’t for everyone.  I’d say more, but I’ve never gotten around to reading his book.

For the rest of us, try our Get-Things-Done placebos. They probably don’t actually work, but they might, and they’re really inexpensive and taste great too! Each bottle contains a 30 day supply of “Get-Things-Done” placebos, although if you don’t actually think to take them every day (and, let’s face it, that’s a strong possibility) they’ll last longer. If it’s late December and you’re looking to do something to change your life come January 1st, we recommend you get the 90 day supply.

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Monster Repellent Pills

Most children are naturally immune to the effects of monsters, including the closet monster, the under-the-bed monster, and the dreaded spooky-noise-at-night monster. However, in some children this natural immunity sometimes runs low, and so these all-natural “Monster Repellent” pills can help boost this immunity and keep the consumer safe.

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Motivation Pills

A famous man once said “Getting started is 90% of the work.” We don’t know who, because we just heard it and can’t be bothered to look it up. But, it’s probably true, and so we’ve developed these motivational placebos which could help you or someone you’re concerned about get past the initial hump of any project.

Taken as directed, daily, we think it’s just possible that these could turn a Beetle Bailey into some other, successful cartoon character.

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