Some people in this world like to dress up in floppy shoes and poorly fitting clothes, wearing flowers which squirt you when you try to smell them, and covering their faces with paint and garish smiles. These people are clowns. Some people don’t like them, and it’s for this second group which we developed this product. Actual sufferers of coulrophobia, an irrational or exaggerated fear of clowns, likely won’t get a lot of benefit out of these placebos. However, if you’ve got a regular old somewhat rational fear of clowns — like, say, Bozo the Clown tried to run you over when you were 9, or at least you seem to remember something like that happening, although it may have been a dream because you got away from Bozo by flying and eventually ended up in math class naked — then these “Clowns! Clowns!” placebos may be perfect for you, since they’ll help you convince your reticent subconscious that you’re doing something about all the evil clowns in the world.
Let’s face it, most blogs are kind of boring, aren’t terribly current, and probably have too many pictures of cats on them. Writing good content, every day, about something that people want to read about is hard. Those folks who can do it deserve our praise and thanks.
For the rest of us, we’ve got these placebos. Sure, they probably won’t help you write more often, but maybe if you can remember to take them every day then you’ll also remember to post something about whatever comes into your mind. Or, at least, a picture of your cat.
Picking a good guy is always tough. Sure, the bad ones are exciting, and the good ones are often nebbish. However, you don’t need to put up with a man who demeans you, makes you pay for everything, or who has never heard about the little man in the boat. You deserver a better man.
Our “Better Taste in Men” placebos may help you to be more discerning while out dancing, or drunk, or both, and less likely to bring home a jobless, alcoholic, misogynistic lump who you’ll be embarassed to wake up next to, to say nothing about taking home to meet your mom. They are a placebo, but sometimes magic happens.